Sunny Day
by Musicstarlover
Summary: Kakashi reflects on the lot life has given him. Planned series of one-shots.
1. Sunny Day

**Sunny Day**

Sometimes it sucks to be him. When the rain hits in the middle of April and there's no way that it'll abate anytime soon and he's still standing in front of the memorial stone, Kakashi sometimes thinks that he should let the past go. He doesn't believe that his sensei or his team would ever begrudge him that one weakness- he's often returned home with a raging cold because of the rain seeping through his clothes to chill his very bones- but he can't bring himself to leave any earlier than he ever has.

Today, it's sunny- the sun shines onto the memorial stone and it flickers and glitters in the sun. Kakashi, in moments of absurdity, has often noted that it makes a lovely modern art sculpture- except for its morbid purpose. It's a nice shade of blue-green and he hasn't really seen anything of its like anywhere else despite various missions to other parts of the unknown world. Sometimes he likes to pretend that the stone is just that, and that he's admiring the aesthetics of the whole thing.

It never really works.

His team are looking for him. He's sent a shadow clone to spy on them and after it dispelled itself, he remembers watching Naruto get bopped on the head by an irate Sakura as he makes a socially unacceptable blunder about her womanliness; he watches Sai smile at them, though it feels slightly more sincere as he too is pounded by an ever-increasing-in-ire Sakura when he comments on the truth in Naruto's blunt statement. He watches Tenzo smile indulgently and drag them towards a training ground. He'll join them later when they've forgotten about his absence.

For now, however, his attention is on the memorial stone. It's glinting again, as if to mock him.

He should be happy, and he is- he has new people that he cares about, would die for; he should be satisfied, and he is- in the very bottom of his heart, he has started to tentatively call his team his family- but there is something inside of him that aches for the what-could-have-been. The Yondaime was a father to him, Rin a sister and Obito a brother and rival. He feels left behind and he doesn't- and then he feels ungrateful, for the Yondaime has given him a pupil that he will always cherish; Rin often reminds him to remember a beautiful girl who will blossom to become a fearsome Kunoichi and the best medic since Tsunade, and Obito gave him the gift of freedom from his own stupidity.

He has somehow come to kneel in front of the memorial stone in his mental musings and now he gently rests gloved fingers on the names that he cherishes in the innermost sanctum of his heart and smiles under the cloth of his mask.

Sometimes it sucks to be him, but today, as Kakashi turns away from the memorial stone, he thinks that sometimes, it was worth what he had to go through to realise that the world wasn't as dark as he'd always believed.

A/N: Feedback is welcome.


	2. Cheap Labour

**Cheap Labour**

It's June and the sun hasn't stopped shining for weeks. The aptly named fire country has felt the strain for nigh on two months and the villagers of Konoha can often be found wiping the sweat from burning brows.

It's really too hot to work but ninja can barely afford the luxury of time off. There's been a shortage of work recently and in spite of the outrageous heat, the economy has to be kept afloat. Kakashi's begun to wonder at the reasons why he keeps his mask on as it sticks uncomfortably to his face throughout the day as a result of the warm weather.

It's Tuesday and shinobi of all ranks have been assigned various menial labour missions. C rank and under as the shortage of work hits- Kakashi's team is no exception to the village-wide humiliation.

Sai has disappeared off with Tenzo on one of the few missions that still requires skill- they're enjoying the cool rain in Kirigakure and Kakashi hates them both for it. Naruto and Sakura have stuck with him, however, and despite a visible increase in time taken to complete a mission, it's nice to have the original team together and working again.

Sometimes, they can almost forget that it's been nearly three years since Sasuke left; three years since the team was torn apart and three years since Kakashi almost lost any semblance of a normal life left to him. Well…- normal for ninja: meaning routine. When Naruto left, however, the routine that Kakashi had begun to enjoy broke. Kakashi _had_ managed to muster some happiness for the blond genin, despite the loss of another one of his students. Heaven only knew, any ninja would kill (figuratively and literally) to have Jiraiya as their personal trainer for any length of time, and Kakashi had realised that perhaps he hadn't paid as much attention to Naruto in the past as he should have. Jiraiya would be able to rectify that mistake and give him the attention he deserved. Sakura had suffered the same fate with the last sannin.

He'll make up for it somehow in the near future. They deserve everything he can give them, and they always have. He had been ignorantly blind in their direction.

He glances towards his team. Although it's only tedious work, the kids have managed to make it interesting. Clearing an area of wreckage caused by strong winds last week can hardly be called _hard_ work, but Sakura and Naruto have put their own twists on the job: Sakura's inhuman strength is put to use to move the objects that really shouldn't be possible to lift by a girl of her size; Naruto's produced about a thousand clones that work in teams and have created a chain to pass wreckage down.

They're racing each other to see who can do it the fastest.

Kakashi has spent the time pretending to read _Icha Icha_. In fact, he's watching his pupils with a proud almost-smile under the mask. In two years, they've grown so much- Naruto more in maturity and Sakura in open-mindedness. Three years ago, Kakashi would have spent half the time trying to get Sakura to stop stressing about whether Sasuke would notice the hard work she'd put into the job and Naruto would have been too jealous and distracted by Sasuke to do the job properly. In his mind they've grown a lot since then- although half of that could be attributed to the fact that there no longer exists the "Sasuke factor" to distract them.

The book is placed carefully to his side as he takes a moment to reflect on his broken team. Although all past missions may have included Sasuke as being the deciding factor of whether the mission was actually a success, Kakashi doesn't really believe that Sasuke could ever have been the "glue" that stuck the team together, and the proof is in front of him: in Sakura's laugh and Naruto's nice-guy pose in her direction.

Although Sakura's heart broke, she's still here. Fighting to achieve the level wherein she will be a recognised kunoichi by herself and able to stand firmly on her own two feet. She's no longer the helpless guard- she's fully capable of everything she ever wanted and that's given her the confidence to help her earn the reputation of being the "next Tsunade". Secretly, Kakashi thinks that his student has the capacity to be even better than that.

Naruto lost one of the first bonds he'd ever had. His heart broke as well, but it's only made him more determined to become a better man. He knew and still knows that he has to be stronger and smarter to bring Sasuke home, and he works every second of every day with that in mind. His dream, Kakashi thinks, has changed from what it was as a young genin. Or if not changed completely, then it includes a new clause: Sasuke will be brought home, because a Hokage cannot possibly be a Hokage with his brother as a missing-nin. Sasuke has to come home because Naruto could never live with himself if he carried on in life without him. It is a formidable task, but Kakashi thinks that it's one that is very much within Naruto's reach. He's proud of the distance Naruto's been able to come. It's only sad that the majority of the village ignores this in favour of the seal that overshadows the boy's existence. One day, Kakashi truly believes that Naruto will finally achieve his dream, and his entire team will be there to celebrate at his side. It's a cheering thought, if a little on the optimistic side for their profession.

For everyone has dreams, and Kakashi thinks that he still doesn't know his, but there _is_ something that is "more of an ambition":

He wants his family safe and he wants his family together, where they belong; because although Sakura's out there now, winning against Naruto in their wreckage race, and laughing at his indignant expression, all of them can feel the gaping hole that is the absence of a smirk at their antics. Sasuke continues to be a presence that is felt, absent or otherwise.

It won't rain for several days, though. By then, Tenzo and Sai will have returned, Sakura will have won lunch bought by Naruto for a week and Kakashi will have finished his book and moved onto the next in the series. By the time the rain falls, Kakashi thinks that maybe he might have a way of making his "ambition" a reality- with a new training regime for Naruto; because if there's anyone who can kick Sasuke back to his senses, who better than the one person who understands him better than the rest of the world? Who better than his _real_ brother?

It's hot now though, and Kakashi tugs his mask gingerly as it sticks to his face. For now, he needs to go home and worry about the small things (like fetching a new, _not_ sticky mask) -because it's entirely too hot weather for thinking.


End file.
